The place to come to wag more and bark less...


Thursday, May 31, 2018

Your Crash Ain’t Nuthin’ But Trash

No, that’s not a typo; I really did crash today and it sucked. Then again, I’ve never had a crash that didn’t suck.

But this crash was special. Besides being my very own crash and nobody else’s it also had all the fine nuances of a good solid crash, the blood, bruising, and pain, topped off with a guarantee that you’ll have to explain “What the hell did you do to your leg?” Usually it’s other guys asking me this. Not that they care, really. They often just see it as a morbid opportunity to show off scabs and scars of their own, as if I care, which I don’t. Unless you have a picture of it.

Today’s crash is proof positive that I needn’t be moving fast to enjoy a good wipeout. (See Fig. A, unless you’ve just eaten, or are planning on a meal like pasta with red sauce. If you’re a mountain biker, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before).

I used to indulge my morbid curiosity with pictures like these, often while carbing up with pasta carbonara. Then I turned fifty, and I took a long, thoughtful look in the mirror… and realized that’s one part of me that’ll never change.

Fig. A “Looks worse than it is…”

As with every crash I’ve known involving muscle powered action, from BMX bikes to skateboarding, upon realizing that another painful crash was imminent things suddenly went into slow motion. I had forever to think about what hitting the ground this time would feel like and what part of me would hit first.

Well, I’m here to tell you that it still freakin’ hurts and that my left shoulder (of course) hit first, taking my entire body weight on it in the process. Such a nice surprise.

But it’s okay, for I’ve crashed many times before and seen my share of others going down, too. There’s nothing finer than the sound of someone else’s body hitting the dirt and, if I’m lucky I’ll hear the verbal aftermath, too: “Fudge!” “Gosh darnit!” and “Heck!”

So welcome to my world, one in which every ride I now take on a bumpy gravel road or on loose singletrack is like always riding with a tacoed front rim (see below).


Fig. B: All riders are eligible for a free, hot & fresh taco (limit 2 tacos per rider)

Anybody who gets on any kind of bicycle, on- or off-road must respect the inherent dangers of this wonderful sport. And by the way, no cyclist I’ve ever seen said “fudge” or “gosh darnit” upon impact. Unless they’re knocked out, of course.

I’m not preaching from my chair though, for I know everyone has their own challenges. I’m no more or less special than the next rider. My challenge just happens to be an unusual inability to keep the rubber side down. I’m sure it’s a lot of fun to watch me crash but, as I said before, to me crashing sucks.

So today, after hitting the ground I immediately jumped to my feet in order to assess the damage. It’s something I’ve always done because I like to be sure that all or at least most of my moving parts still work. So far, so good.

I should note that this crash didn’t occur out in the boonies as I was descending a gnarly, super technical downhill. Not today. Today’s was a classic crash, right in the middle of the parking lot across the street from home. I can actually look out my window and see where it happened. Duh!

And it began innocently enough. All I did was reach my right hand across the handlebars to shift into my big chainring. You know, the same hand motion my left arm had did a million times before with no trouble at all.

However, because I've put off configuring a shifting system that shifts both right and left sides of the handlebars I’ve gotten used to the quick and daring right-hand-shifting-the-left-lever maneuver.

I’m not lazy, mind you. Many times I’ve looked at my bike intending to make the necessary customizations. But then, after running out of ideas (I’m no MacGyver) I say “I’ll do it next time” then jump on my bike and ride.

My heart always skipped a beat or two in doing this right-over-left hand shifting, though anyone who’s ever asked me about it got a nonchalant response: “It’s not a biggie. Try it for yourself sometime.”

Some folks are a natural at it, and then there’s me. Screw my nonchalance; I’m an accident waiting to happen. But I love cycling so much that I can only bear watching others out riding without me for so long until I give in to temptation.

“Damn the risks,” I say, “if I die on my bike at least I’ll have gone out doing what I love most.” The only problem with that thinking though is that not dying makes the near-fatal accident into just another crash.  

Such a crash could be what some riders and perhaps witnesses whose statements appear in the accident report rightly call “epic.” Well, one man’s “epic” is another man’s “long and painful recovery, possibly even following a brief hospitalization.”

There’s no doubt that cycling is a dangerous, even crazy sport to partake in. And anyone who tells you they’ve never experienced the pleasant sensation of hitting the ground is either lying or already dead as a result of a crash.

But there’s also no other endorphin-inspiring activity that gets me so high so fast. Even today, despite the danger and craziness involved I still hit the tame, non-technical trails until I once again feel immortal, shouting joyously at the sky with tears of happiness in my eyes.

I’ve said it before and it bears repeating: Everyone should have something like this in their life. I believe the willingness to take a chance in order to become better at what you love is perhaps the single best measure of success there is.

I’m lucky because I’ve been granted a second chance to pursue the one activity I still know best and love most. Granted, I don’t get to compete any longer and I will probably carry the resentment I feel about that into my grave.

It’s my cross to bear and, admittedly I’m not always gracious about it. But I try my best and that’s all I can ever ask of myself.

An oversimplification, perhaps but if you’re still reading this it’s most likely because of the gory picture I’ve posted, not because you were hoping to learn my philosophy on life.

Just in case, keep this in mind: Nearly everything has some relevance to some aspect of cycling. Hill climbs, downhills, road races, time trials and triathlons and more are amazingly accurate metaphors for life itself.

Criterium racing is tops among them all in this regard. It involves racing a gaggle of other riders on a short, circular course for one hour. It’s harder than it sounds, and not everyone even makes it all the way (see Fig. C). The first one to cross the finish line wins! Is that not a perfect metaphor for life?

Some days are simply better…

...than others

That said, after a lifetime of cycling - and still today - I’m fond of thinking of the world in such terms, stating “In cycling as in life, (fill in the blank with just about anything here)” and most cyclists to whom I’ve mentioned this agree.

Perhaps it’s because cycling is Life, and old habits die hard. One thing’s for sure-In cycling as in life, the world is a sweeter place when you can keep the rubber side down.


Wednesday, May 2, 2018

With Fox and Friends Like These...


The Horse’s Ass-In-Chief will assume his rightful place here in American history.

I predict that the Fox and Friends et al who, in the face of all evidence to the contrary will one day abandon their golden boy.

All trump or any of his cronies have to do is to continue their campaign of bullshit and surprise their cronies, on-air and expose them for the criminals they are.

It’s basically a white collar version of the mob, and Fox personalities who blindly support trump are complicit.

I might add to my prediction that the pretense the Fox and Friends will conjure up will have nothing to do with trump’s criminal and civil violations. Doing so would be an acknowledgement and outright admission of their complicity.

Instead their private rationale will be unspoken and, in the tradition of narcissistic tv personalities will center on how trump et al will have made them look bad on air one too many times.

Publicly the Fox cronies will come up with another bullshit that’s geared (of course) for consumption by trump’s base.

They’ll end up claiming to be the victims in some sort of far fetched scheme hatched years ago by President Obama and Secretary Clinton.

Trump’s base will buy it and Fox, though in keeping with their own policy will applaud themselves for all they’ve done to Make America Great Again.


Polls reflect this man’s ideological position. Here he exercises his First Amendment right to free speech. His unmistakably non-partisan message undoubtedly reflects the opinion of First Lady Melania Trump as well.

With such misguided, self-righteous friends like them, they will consider themselves heroes and patriots who’ve somehow saved the USA from certain disaster.

But the memory of the sudden and figuratively violent takedown of their once-heralded superstar bill o’reilly won’t be far from their minds.

Then reality will assert itself and before you can say “Lock Her Up!” Fox and Friends will suddenly take an extreme interest in documenting the “Two-headed iguana that was mysteriously found under a woman’s bathtub in Poughkeepsie, NY in January” or some other Pulitzer-worthy topic.

Trump’s base will follow fox’s lead and likewise adopt that “I’ll be danged!” storyline as the number one topic of dinner conversation. Nobody-except for Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller-will notice trump slithering away unnoticed.

I predict that the Fox and Friends et al who, in the face of all evidence to the contrary will one day abandon their golden boy.

All trump or any of his cronies have to do is to continue their campaign of bullshit and surprise their cronies, on-air and expose them for the criminals they are.

It’s basically a white collar version of the mob, and Fox personalities who blindly support trump are complicit.

I might add to my prediction that the pretense the Fox and Friends will conjure up will have nothing to do with trump’s criminal and civil violations. Doing so would be an acknowledgement and outright admission of their complicity.

In America, even assholes enjoy the right to free speech.

Instead their private rationale will be unspoken and, in the tradition of narcissistic tv personalities will center on how trump et al will have made them look bad on air one too many times.

Publicly the Fox cronies will come up with another bullshit that’s geared (of course) for consumption by trump’s base.

They’ll end up claiming to be the victims in some sort of far fetched scheme hatched years ago by President Obama and Secretary Clinton.

Trump’s base will buy it and Fox, though in keeping with their own policy will applaud themselves for all they’ve done to Make America Great Again.

Former National Security Advisor Flynn, getting used to his new home. He can’t see Russia from here, though.

With such misguided, self-righteous friends like them, they will consider themselves heroes and patriots who’ve somehow saved the USA from certain disaster.

But the memory of the sudden and figuratively violent takedown of their once-heralded superstar bill o’reilly won’t be far from their minds.

Then reality will assert itself and before you can say “Lock Her Up!” Fox and Friends will suddenly take an extreme interest in documenting the “Two-headed iguana mysteriously found under a woman’s bathtub in Poughkeepsie, NY” or some other Pulitzer-worthy topic.

Trump’s base will follow fox’s lead and likewise adopt that “I’ll be danged!” storyline as the number one topic of dinner conversation. Nobody-except for Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller-will notice trump slithering away unnoticed.

But the bullshit will stick to the cocky teflon don and oh, how far and how fast he’ll fall. As Stormy’s lawyer Michael Avenatti stated “All the tweets in the world won’t save him from himself.”


Here’s the man-child at recess, driving the lunch lady nuts at the West Wing’s “adult day care.” With inmate-in-waiting Michael Cohen behind him trump has never had to clean up his own messes. Today’s art class subject is finger painting; but Cohen won’t be there this time.

Thousands if not tens of thousands of the broad community of people who trump has wronged will undoubtedly be doing a happy dance. For long before the American people discovered trump’s true colors they already knew that everything trump touches turns to shit.

Okay, everyone, say it with me: “Lock him up!”

Thank you, Robert Mueller and thanks to all of your legal team as well. You are the true heroes in this sad chapter of American history, for you’ll have proven that Democracy can and will prevail in the end.

From all of this one thing is clear: history will forever show Richard Nixon to be a criminal genius in comparison to trump.

Having lived through the Nixon administration, I don’t believe any Senate or House member ever stated that the president has turned the White House into an adult day care.

For my part I’ve one piece of advice for the outgoing president: Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.


The bucks start here.
Thousands if not tens of thousands of the broad community of people who trump has wronged will undoubtedly be doing a happy dance. For long before the American people discovered trump’s true colors they already knew that everything trump touches turns to shit.

Okay, everyone, say it with me: “Lock him up!”

Thank you, Robert Mueller and thanks to all of your legal team as well. You are the true heroes in this sad chapter of American history, for you’ll have proven that Democracy can and will prevail in the end.

From all of this one thing is clear: history will forever show Richard Nixon to be a criminal genius in comparison to trump.

Having lived through the Nixon administration, I don’t believe any Senate or House member ever stated that the president has turned the White House into an adult day care.

For my part I’ve one piece of advice for the outgoing president: Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Countryside Animal Hospital Review, May, 2018

Review: Countryside Animal Hospital,
               3820 Timberline Rd.
               Ft Collins, CO 80525

Hi neighbors, this is my review of Countryside Animal Hospital in Ft Collins, May 1, 2018.

Vet Review 

My first vet here, Dr. Ann Vestal, was great; knowledgeable and caring and professional. But she moved away after six months. 

Unaware of this, Sophie my 9 y/Malinois service dog and I were surprised by a different vet upon arriving for a muscle injury exam.

The new vet was curt, offered no personal introduction, or warmth and compassion as I’d felt from our original doc, etc. I left without even knowing her name, going instead by the name on the Rx bottle she’d given - Speight. But that’s not her name.

We sat waiting, Sophie in pain until Dr. Morgan finally came in, late. No “Sorry to keep you waiting,” not even a friendly glance or smile. This is totally contrary to any vet experience we’ve ever had.

This reflects poorly on the clinic; ours was not an emergency visit. Here, vets and patients are apparently interchangeable without notice and that’s not okay. An ongoing patient-doctor relationship is important to us.

This indifferent vet’s name is Katherine Morgan, though her name does not appear on the Rx medication bottles-another doc’s name does. I can’t even be sure she truly is a veterinarian yet but perhaps a vet school student? Can she not legally prescribe medication yet?

Meeting with her was less a positive give-and-take and more like being subjected to a condescending lecture. I had no choice but to let it slide-something this vet office was well aware of this, but did it anyway.

So when I scheduled a follow up appt I requested a different vet.  But the same vet entered a second time anyway, no explanation, nothing. My girl was in pain and needed help- again there was nothing I could do. We were stuck with Dr. Morgan again though we’d specifically requested another vet.

Dr. Morgan’s inability to provide excellent and experienced care was clear. She fumbled around awkwardly with the instruments used in only partially draining my Sophie’s swollen cyst. Dr. Morgan’s inexperience at the procedure created an infection which was a possibility an experienced doctor would have known to address. Dr. Morgan did not.

Nor did Dr. Morgan suggest an alternative treatment. Sophie’s had the cyst all her life and it looked no different after the procedure-I didn’t realize Dr. Morgan had botched such an apparently simple job until it was too late. 

Sophie developed an infection due to Dr. Morgan, who should have had an experienced doctor supervising her. I firmly believe my Sophie, in effect was a guinea pig.

Dr. Morgan chose not to help me avoid this a day or so later by not making a follow up call to us to ask “How’s she doing?” as her predecessor there did. But nothing. I was on my own to handle it.

I’ve had to find a new, experienced vet who knows what to do and how to do it while also communicating with me about it. 

Our vet at Harmony Hospital for Pets prescribed antibiotics and Sophie’s now getting better from the infection my sweet girl got from Dr. Morgan’s work, 3 weeks earlier. 

It’s been costly and, most important, very painful for Sophie. And still, no follow up call from Dr. Morgan to see how Sophie’s doing. Her silence says simply “I don’t care...” 

I’m disabled and my service dog is my lifeline. In public, Sophie and I literally work together. So when I’m not physically active, neither is my Sophie. If I’m down and in pain, so is she. We’re both fighting weight issues and can do without Dr. Morgan’s smug comments like “Your dog’s nearly obese.” 

My Sophie was injured doing her job for me, twisting on an icy parking lot to help me after I’d fallen. 

Implying that Sophie was hurt solely because of being overweight as Dr. Morgan did was insensitive and insulting to the working relationship we’ve had for 9+ years.

Nearly all vets we’ve met elsewhere have been terrific. But this office is clearly too short on compassion to attract and to keep a friendly and qualified vet on staff for very long.

Sophie’s almost 10 and we’ve known many great vets along the way. We’re not experts but I know good care from indifferent, and this wasn’t good care.

Please avoid risking the painful and upsetting experience like Sophie and I had at Countryside Animal Hospital - Look elsewhere for compassionate care for your beloved furry friend.




Taking an animal to a veterinarian is a trust agreement that most of us don’t take lightly. It’s why we read reviews like these when making such an important decision. 

If the managing administration vets at Countryside Animal Hospital were to contact me back with some sign of contrition or even acknowledgement about our poor treatment there I’d be willing to update this review. 


For anyone at Countryside Animal Hospital to not to do so will reinforce my belief that what I’ve written here may help another loving animal owner avoid the pain we’ve found here.